Wednesday, November 15, 2006
The Sad Salesman
The idea of performance-based salaries has to be one of the sickest corporate incentives ever invented. The fact that an employee is rewarded by selling more to consumers than they actually need must certainly weigh on the salesperson's conscience. Similarly, middle management's yearly bonuses are often based on ever-increasing profit margins, causing it to rule with an absolute belief in success-based compensation. Like the most heinous organized crime family in New Jersey, these corporate structures will not tolerate losing money or inefficient employees.
Recently I found myself thrust into this structure in the form of the most-oppressed character: The frustrated, wronged consumer. I was having trouble installing a tape deck in my "new" 1988 Volkswagen Fox. Apparently there is no wiring harness available for this somewhat rare German vehicle, so I took it to "The Stereo Store!" to have the stereo installed. Long story short: The sales-kid, Cameron, talked me into buying a new CD player which would cost only $105, fully installed. That CD player ended up costing $128 and didn't play burned CDs, so I opted for the $148 CD player that actually did play CDs. Whatever, it was time to upgrade from the tape deck.
When I got home and attempted to hook up my amplifier and subwoofers, there were no RCA jacks in the back of the stereo, which Cameron should have known I needed. (Note: I like listening to rap music with a reasonable amount of base, which is more than most standard stereo systems provide, '88 Fox included – I'm not a teenage gangster or nuthin.') Cameron felt bad and offered to come over to my house and fix the problem, but we decided to deal with it the next day.
When Cameron's manager insisted that I had to pay for the upgrade, I headed down there to put on my best "Unhappy Consumer" performance. I walked into the Stereo Store and asked to see the manager.
Brad was an average-sized white man with a blonde 1990's soccer player haircut - the short sides of his hairdo fade into a floppy side-spike specked with bleach spots. Cameron had already discussed the issue with Brad, who seemed eager to rectify the situation.
"Normally we charge $20 for the upgrade," he began.
Cameron interrupted with "What if I pay the $10? I'll pay it right out of my pocket." His eyes pleaded for the confrontation to end.
"I'd feel bad for you," I said. "That's not really what this is about." (My eyes were just getting into it.)
Brad basically flipped out, turning against his young stereo-installing apprentice. "I oughta fire your ass right now," he sneered. "This has happened too many fucking times... You know what? Take a hike."
Cameron stormed out of the room and into the installation bay. Brad turned toward me, apparently expecting a newfound bond of hatred for Cameron.
"I can't believe you just did that," I said, seriously appalled and surprised at what an asshole Brad was. "That's really unprofessional of you. How do you think that makes me feel? I didn't come down here to get him fired."
Brad interrupted: "No, he's had lots of problems," he assured me. "It's not about you."
"Well that's really unprofessional of you to have cursed at him right in front of me," I said. Brad's aggressive demeanor waned a little. "He did everything he could to help me. He called me back yesterday and offered to come to my house and fix the problem off the clock so you wouldn't be bothered with it," I said.
"Well he's the one who sold you the wrong thing," Brad argued.
"Look, this is your store," I said, feeling a lecture appropriate. "You're the manager. I think you should take more responsibility instead of firing a kid for making a mistake. I don't see you doing anything to help this situation except trying to get me to pay $10 for something that's your problem. Maybe you should have trained him better."
I again tried getting Brad to refund my entire $148 charge but he insisted that he couldn't take the $50 installation fee back from the installers. I deduced that the installers on the other side of the wall must have been some sort of subcontractors.
"No," Brad said. "Everybody in this store works on commission."
"I see. That's why you try to sell someone a new CD player when they come in to get a tape player installed."
"Yea," he said.
Brad's confrontational attitude had completely vanished and he offered to exchange the stereo for free. He had lost the energy to even act like he wasn't a prick.
The union worker in the installation bay replaced my CD player in about ten minutes and hooked up two cables that I would later need to install the amplifier and subwoofers myself (this amounts to a small favor). Brad returned with my key and was back in managerial mode – phony, declarative sentences explaining what he's doing for me. As he printed an updated receipt I mentioned that I was not at all angry with Cameron and that I hoped he wasn't really fired.
"He's been here five months," Brad said. "There's a learning curve."
"Apparently," I responded, not at all convinced that Cameron still had a job at "The Stereo Store!"
Brad handed me the receipt. "Alright, Brad," I said. "You've been tremendous."
"Have a good day," he robotically responded.
I walked out to my car and sat down in the mess of stereo boxes, electrical tape and random wires and found a totally sweet surprise – a brand-new remote control sitting on the dashboard. This CD player had a fucking remote control! After the initial excitement of being able to change tracks from the back seat of a tiny four-door, I came to a sad realization: If Cameron would have just told me that for an additional $20 I could have gotten a CD player with a remote control, this entire mess could have been avoided.
Cameron wasn't a very good sales-kid, and Brad wasn't a very good manager. But considering the circumstances, I can't really blame either of them for putting their retail God's needs before mine. I didn't even get the subs to work when I got home and now I'm just going to sell them. Maybe, sometimes, we know so little about what we do want that these people deserve a slice for figuring it out for us. Whatever the case, working for a performance-based salary seems like a difficult and lonely way to make a living.
Hopefully Cameron's new job is a salaried position.
Recently I found myself thrust into this structure in the form of the most-oppressed character: The frustrated, wronged consumer. I was having trouble installing a tape deck in my "new" 1988 Volkswagen Fox. Apparently there is no wiring harness available for this somewhat rare German vehicle, so I took it to "The Stereo Store!" to have the stereo installed. Long story short: The sales-kid, Cameron, talked me into buying a new CD player which would cost only $105, fully installed. That CD player ended up costing $128 and didn't play burned CDs, so I opted for the $148 CD player that actually did play CDs. Whatever, it was time to upgrade from the tape deck.
When I got home and attempted to hook up my amplifier and subwoofers, there were no RCA jacks in the back of the stereo, which Cameron should have known I needed. (Note: I like listening to rap music with a reasonable amount of base, which is more than most standard stereo systems provide, '88 Fox included – I'm not a teenage gangster or nuthin.') Cameron felt bad and offered to come over to my house and fix the problem, but we decided to deal with it the next day.
When Cameron's manager insisted that I had to pay for the upgrade, I headed down there to put on my best "Unhappy Consumer" performance. I walked into the Stereo Store and asked to see the manager.
Brad was an average-sized white man with a blonde 1990's soccer player haircut - the short sides of his hairdo fade into a floppy side-spike specked with bleach spots. Cameron had already discussed the issue with Brad, who seemed eager to rectify the situation.
"Normally we charge $20 for the upgrade," he began.
Good, I thought, at least he's going to do this for free and I'll get out of here.
He continued: "I'm willing to split it with you. So if you come up with $10, we'll switch 'em up for you."
Woah woah woah. Did he seriously just try to get me to pay him $10? Ten fucking dollars?!?
"I don't see why I should have to pay for anything. This is the second straight day I've been down here because of your mistake…"Cameron interrupted with "What if I pay the $10? I'll pay it right out of my pocket." His eyes pleaded for the confrontation to end.
"I'd feel bad for you," I said. "That's not really what this is about." (My eyes were just getting into it.)
Brad basically flipped out, turning against his young stereo-installing apprentice. "I oughta fire your ass right now," he sneered. "This has happened too many fucking times... You know what? Take a hike."
Cameron stormed out of the room and into the installation bay. Brad turned toward me, apparently expecting a newfound bond of hatred for Cameron.
"I can't believe you just did that," I said, seriously appalled and surprised at what an asshole Brad was. "That's really unprofessional of you. How do you think that makes me feel? I didn't come down here to get him fired."
Brad interrupted: "No, he's had lots of problems," he assured me. "It's not about you."
"Well that's really unprofessional of you to have cursed at him right in front of me," I said. Brad's aggressive demeanor waned a little. "He did everything he could to help me. He called me back yesterday and offered to come to my house and fix the problem off the clock so you wouldn't be bothered with it," I said.
"Well he's the one who sold you the wrong thing," Brad argued.
"Look, this is your store," I said, feeling a lecture appropriate. "You're the manager. I think you should take more responsibility instead of firing a kid for making a mistake. I don't see you doing anything to help this situation except trying to get me to pay $10 for something that's your problem. Maybe you should have trained him better."
I again tried getting Brad to refund my entire $148 charge but he insisted that he couldn't take the $50 installation fee back from the installers. I deduced that the installers on the other side of the wall must have been some sort of subcontractors.
"No," Brad said. "Everybody in this store works on commission."
"I see. That's why you try to sell someone a new CD player when they come in to get a tape player installed."
"Yea," he said.
Brad's confrontational attitude had completely vanished and he offered to exchange the stereo for free. He had lost the energy to even act like he wasn't a prick.
The union worker in the installation bay replaced my CD player in about ten minutes and hooked up two cables that I would later need to install the amplifier and subwoofers myself (this amounts to a small favor). Brad returned with my key and was back in managerial mode – phony, declarative sentences explaining what he's doing for me. As he printed an updated receipt I mentioned that I was not at all angry with Cameron and that I hoped he wasn't really fired.
"He's been here five months," Brad said. "There's a learning curve."
"Apparently," I responded, not at all convinced that Cameron still had a job at "The Stereo Store!"
Brad handed me the receipt. "Alright, Brad," I said. "You've been tremendous."
"Have a good day," he robotically responded.
I walked out to my car and sat down in the mess of stereo boxes, electrical tape and random wires and found a totally sweet surprise – a brand-new remote control sitting on the dashboard. This CD player had a fucking remote control! After the initial excitement of being able to change tracks from the back seat of a tiny four-door, I came to a sad realization: If Cameron would have just told me that for an additional $20 I could have gotten a CD player with a remote control, this entire mess could have been avoided.
Cameron wasn't a very good sales-kid, and Brad wasn't a very good manager. But considering the circumstances, I can't really blame either of them for putting their retail God's needs before mine. I didn't even get the subs to work when I got home and now I'm just going to sell them. Maybe, sometimes, we know so little about what we do want that these people deserve a slice for figuring it out for us. Whatever the case, working for a performance-based salary seems like a difficult and lonely way to make a living.
Hopefully Cameron's new job is a salaried position.
# posted by PASStheTEA_B @ 5:32 PM 
