Saturday, November 04, 2006
Halloween 2006: News and Notes
(Written Sunday, October 29, 2006)
Chris Sabo and a scantily-clad cavewoman walked down the West Eugene train tracks at 4 a.m. with only one goal: Don't get hit by a train. The two succeeded. They were not hit by a train. But they were not walking toward their apartments, either.
After about thirty minutes Sabo realized that River Road loomed in the distance meaning the drunk idiots had walked about a mile in the wrong direction. Perhaps if the cavewoman was less interested in finding a Taco Bell and more interested in local geography the two wouldn't have had to wait in a porn shop for a taxi in the middle of the night. Maybe if Sabo's faux Rec-Specs were more than undersized safety glasses then the former Rookie-Of-The-Year might have recognized his surroundings.
Chris Sabo and a scantily-clad cavewoman walked down the West Eugene train tracks at 4 a.m. with only one goal: Don't get hit by a train. The two succeeded. They were not hit by a train. But they were not walking toward their apartments, either.
After about thirty minutes Sabo realized that River Road loomed in the distance meaning the drunk idiots had walked about a mile in the wrong direction. Perhaps if the cavewoman was less interested in finding a Taco Bell and more interested in local geography the two wouldn't have had to wait in a porn shop for a taxi in the middle of the night. Maybe if Sabo's faux Rec-Specs were more than undersized safety glasses then the former Rookie-Of-The-Year might have recognized his surroundings.
Halloween 2006 was a pretty good time for me and my unemployed journalist friends. I had originally scanned Ebay for a Pete Rose jersey but those fuckers are expensive so I Ebay-dominated some unsuspecting bidder for a vintage Sabo jersey. Wal-Mart safety glasses and a Reds hat finished off the costume, which really could have used some tight pants and red socks. Surprisingly, many people knew who Sabo was, including one guy who called out his name at a bar while I had no shirt on – just the Reds hat and glasses.
Sena made her cavewoman costume, which came out very good, in less than two hours. She could have used some sort of bone to go along with it, and during the evening she realized that women cannot talk about how they need a bone while hanging out with childish men.
The O'Rourke brothers took care of business, as usual. Pat looked stellar in an all-white tennis uniform which fit snugly, to say the least. His white headband, wrist bands, socks and shoes complimented the skin-tight polo shirt and coach's shorts, which offered most of his smooth white thighs for all to see. Tim's "World Champion of the World" wrestling costume was also sweet. He wore a full suit and a Mexican wrestling mask but was quick to find out that females are uncomfortable around drinking, smoking, masked men. He was called a rapist by two different women.
Sena made her cavewoman costume, which came out very good, in less than two hours. She could have used some sort of bone to go along with it, and during the evening she realized that women cannot talk about how they need a bone while hanging out with childish men.
The O'Rourke brothers took care of business, as usual. Pat looked stellar in an all-white tennis uniform which fit snugly, to say the least. His white headband, wrist bands, socks and shoes complimented the skin-tight polo shirt and coach's shorts, which offered most of his smooth white thighs for all to see. Tim's "World Champion of the World" wrestling costume was also sweet. He wore a full suit and a Mexican wrestling mask but was quick to find out that females are uncomfortable around drinking, smoking, masked men. He was called a rapist by two different women.
Dave Constantine and his wife Jen looked adorable, as they always do, dressed as stuffy college professors or something. Dave had his hair parted on the side and a carried a corn-cob pipe that he low-balled from some dude in a market.
The group went from a house party to a hippy bar and then to a late-night hippy rave party. By the time Sabo and the freezing-cold cavewoman made it home and cooked macaroni and cheese, the clock read 5-something. Sabo woke up on a couch with dizziness, nausea and mild chest pain.
# posted by PASStheTEA_B @ 4:38 PM 
